Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I had to cum in my sink.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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