when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
