You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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