Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
