What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
