I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Randomize
