I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
