You're my little dorito
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
