____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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