Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you will always have a special place in my vag
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
did i just pee glitter
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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