He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
