I feel like abortions should bother me more
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
