I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize