sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
