I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think people are normalizing furries
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
