Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
