i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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