The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
