Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize