How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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