So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize