Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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