mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize