Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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