He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
