I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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