Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My dick has a subreddit
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
