So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
