I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
