I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
