i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
