whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize