Sponge bath it is.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
