this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
