Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You ruined the universe
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize