Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
