By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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