where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
your room smells of hookers.
And success
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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