I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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