Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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