i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
