It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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