Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want her autograph on my taint
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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