My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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