DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
