if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
