sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
