Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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