im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
