we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
