Just fell off a train. Bad.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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