Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
