That's when you crack a 10am beer
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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