I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
