Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the condom got lost in my hair
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
