If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
