I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
