My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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