All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
