I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's the barista slut.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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