Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
