i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
