Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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