I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
