Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
