Jerry, you need to find god
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
