I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
