my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
