Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
