I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
