Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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