I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize