i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
