summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
